Short Story Challenge:When it hurts so bad...
The other day, I was tagged in a short story challenge on Facebook. The point is to write a short story based on a picture. I intended to be one and done but this thing spread to six parts! I posted it on my personal page (not sure why) but I'm putting them all together to make it easier. Comment, like, share! Thanks!
All photos courtesy of ReeseRoyce215
“Savannah, baby, I promise you don’t have to worry about nothing. I love you, girl,” Andre whispered in my ear.
I wanted to believe him. I needed to believe him. Logic was screaming at me to leave him alone but the way he was making me feel right now…logic didn’t stand a chance. I was in love.
My girl, Tiffany called to tell me she saw my man with another woman. I didn’t believe it until she sent me a pic.
There he was, holding hands with some chick in Wal-Mart. They looked happy, like they were in love. He looked like that with me two days ago.
“Savannah, what are you gonna do? Cause you know I don’t mind pulling up,” Tiffany assured me. And I knew she meant it.
Truth be told, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. This wasn’t the first time he’d been caught but Andre always had a way of getting me to forgive him. Sometimes I hated the way I loved him.
I sat home as long as I could before the need to ask him why came over me. I jumped up, threw on my shoes and headed across town to his house. I didn’t call or anything. When he saw me at the door, he looked surprised but not upset. I showed him the picture Tip sent me and as usual, he tried to explain it away.
I was hurt. I was pissed. But somehow, I was here, letting my man prove to me that I was his only one. Andre wiped my tears and kissed my lips gently. I tried to resist him, or at least in my mind I did. Next thing I know, I was lying in his bed, physically exposed and emotionally vulnerable. I don’t know what it was about him that made me love him the way I did.
Maybe it was because he was fine as hell and his body looked like he’d been dipped in milk chocolate. Maybe it was because he took care of me and spoiled me. Maybe it was because his kiss made me melt. Maybe it was because of the way he took my body to places I couldn’t understand.
Right now, I was holding on to him for dear life. He knew my body and knew it well. He knew that spot on my neck that made me weak. He knew how to touch me to make my body wet. He knew just how to stroke to make me explode. He knew I was close.
“You love me, baby? Tell me you love me, Savannah!” he whispered. He kissed my neck waiting on my answer.
I didn’t want to answer him. I didn’t want him to know he had me. It wasn’t a secret but admitting it was too easy for him. But he wasn’t taking my silence too well.
He moved my leg and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist. In this position, he was deep inside me. I was losing the battle and he could tell by the way I moaned his name.
“Say it, baby. Tell me you love me! Please Savannah, tell me!”
The way he said my name, the way he moved inside me, the way he commanded me…that’s all it took. My orgasm rocked me somewhere in my soul.
“Oh God, Andre! I love you baby! I love you so much!” I moaned. Tears escaped my eyes and I knew there was no way I could leave him. This feeling…this was bliss.
For the second time tonight, Andre wiped my tears and kissed me deeply. The way I loved this man was indescribable.
I was still riding the waves of the pleasure my man gave me when I heard what I thought was a door open and close.
“Andre, baby, where are you?” a female voice called near the front door.
My heart stopped and Andre froze as the doorknob to his bedroom door turned…
Part 2 The door flings open and we hear “I have a surprise for you! I’m preg-“
She stops speaking when she takes in the scene before her. She was smiling when she walked in the room but her face drops and what looks like pictures fall from her hand to the floor.
Andre hops up and frantically tries to plead his case. “Baby, hold on. It’s not what it looks like,” he stammers while pulling up his boxers. He picks up whatever she dropped and stared at it for a second.
What does he mean it’s not what it looks like? It looks like he just made love to his girl…so what was this then? I wondered.
“Wait, you’re pregnant?” he inquires solemnly. As if my heart wasn’t already cracking from this pressure, he goes and throws this on me. I almost stopped breathing.
She ignores him. The woman looks from Andre to me and back to Andre. I imagined she was trying not to kill him. Or me. I see a tear slide down her face and she charges for me. Frozen, I can do nothing but pull the covers around me and scream in fear. I was pressed against the headboard with nowhere else to go.
If it weren’t for Andre blocking her, she would have been trying to drag me out of the bed. “Why the hell are you in my bed? Get out! GET OUT!” she shrieks.
“Kita, stop! Calm down! Let me explain!” Andre pleads. Since she can’t get to me, she takes her anger out on the closest thing to her: Andre’s face. I’m too afraid to move as I watch Kita hit Andre repeatedly. He tries to block her blows but he’s no match for the woman he’s hurt.
“I hate you! I HATE YOU!” she screams as she continues to hit him. Kita punches Andre squarely in the jaw. Almost as if it’s second nature, he forcibly pushes her and she flies backwards into his dresser. In pain, she crumbles to the ground.
Realizing what he’s done, he rushes to her side. “Kita! Baby I’m sorry!” She pushes him away even though she’s in obvious pain.
“Why, Andre? Just tell me why?” she cries through gritted teeth.
“Baby, do you need me to call 911? Let’s go to the hospital to make sure our baby is ok,” Andre responds. Maybe Kita is in too much pain to notice he didn’t answer her question but it’s one that I need an answer to.
“Andre what the hell is going on?” I ask needing to understand who was this woman claiming to be his baby mama.
“Not now, Savannah, damnit! Can’t you see she’s hurt?” he yells at me. I drop my eyes, embarrassed that I even spoke. He acted as if I wasn’t even there, as if he didn't just bring my body to a blissful orgasm.
Andre rushes around the room and finds his clothes. He then helps Kita up and they leave the bedroom, his arm wrapped around her waist helping her walk. I can hear her crying as he assured her they will be fine. The front door slams and I was alone.
I couldn’t move. I was stuck. I don’t know if it was shock or just the weight of my stupidity keeping me in his bed. I was the one he just made love to. I was the one he said he wanted to be with. I was the one he said meant the world to him. I was the one he said was his Queen. I was the one that claimed the title wifey. So if I was all of those things to him, why was I sitting in this bed while he went off to take care of her?
I loved Andre with everything in me and I really didn’t understand what just happened. One second he was inside of me, declaring his love for me and the next minute he’s taking his pregnant girlfriend to the hospital.
The reality of what was happening hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only was Andre cheating on me, he had gotten another woman pregnant. This wasn’t even the same woman Tiffany took a picture of. How many women did this man have?
I felt stupid. I felt useless. I felt insecure. I was always there for him. I did what he asked. I gave him what he wanted. And he repays my love with this? Lies? Cheating? A whole baby?
I felt like a fool. Here I was sitting in my man’s bed, my heart broken beyond recognition while he went off to be her hero. I was embarrassed because I took him back each and every time he cheated on me. Only to be cheated on again.
I needed to get up and go home. I needed to talk to Tiffany. I needed to find out why he did me like this. I needed Andre to tell me what was going on. I needed to get my life together.
But I couldn’t move. All I could do was sit here and let all my hurt escape through my tears
Nothing made sense right now.
I was trying to wrap my head around this but my life was in shambles. It seemed like this was straight from a reality TV script instead of my life.
After about 10 minutes, I was finally able to get out of Andre’s bed and go home. Before I left, I looked at his bed again, wondering how this one space held both my pleasure and my pain. On the way home, I called Tiffany to tell her what happened.
“GIRL, WHAT?! That lying bastard!” she yelled into the phone. I had to move the phone away from my ear before I went deaf. “What hospital are they at? Was it the same chick I saw him with? Girl, swing by and get me so we can run up there real quick.”
Tiffany was my ride or die friend. We’d been cool for most of our lives and if I had a problem, she was down to set things right.
“Naw, Tip. I’m not going to do all of that.” I just got home and I flopped down on my bed.
“Well what are you gonna do?” she asked quietly. She could tell by my tone that the extraness wasn’t necessary.
I sighed deeply. “I really don’t know. Nothing right now. I’m just gonna take a shower and lie down.”
“You want me to come over? We can eat ice cream and watch some movies,” Tiffany suggested.
I laughed a little. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather be alone for a little bit. I need to think.”
“I understand. I’m here though. Just call me when you need me. I love you, Savannah.”
“I love you too, Tip. And thanks.”
My friend and I hung up and I was grateful to have someone like Tiffany in my life. She’s been there for me and I could tell her anything. I’d call her later to let her know I’m ok.
But would I be ok? I really didn’t know at this point. I wasn’t ready to get lost in my thoughts so I got up to go take a shower. The hot water was only a temporary reprieve; my heart felt so heavy, like it as going to fall out of my chest.
After my shower, I put on one of Andre’s wife beaters. I needed to feel close to him. I wanted to call him but I just couldn’t make myself dial his number. I was so lost in my thoughts, my ringing phone caught me off guard.
My King flashed across the screen and I nearly dropped my phone trying to answer it.
“Andre what the hell is going on? Who was that? Why does she have a key? And she’s pregnant? Andre, how could you do this to me?” I couldn’t stop asking questions. I needed answers.
“Savannah, please calm down. Please. Let’s talk about this calmly,” Andre tried to reason with me.
I almost threw my phone across the room. “Don’t you dare patronize me! And you want to talk about this calmly? After you baby mama walked into your apartment with a key? Why Andre?”
“’Vannah, baby listen,” he began. “Kita and I have history. She doesn’t live here so we don’t see each other often. She must have made a key because I didn’t give her one. That I can promise you.”
I was quiet on the phone, letting his story roll around in my mind.
“I’m just as surprised as you are that she’s pregnant. You better believe I’m going to get a DNA test.”
I wanted this to be true because I didn’t want to believe the man I loved was trying to live the family life with this Kita person. “That still doesn’t explain why she yelled at me to get out of her bed.”
“I don’t know what that was about either. Maybe she was just mad-who knows. But anyway, baby don’t worry about her. If it is my kid, I’ll take care of it but I’m not going to be with her. You’re the one I love.”
“But, Andre…I just don’t understand. You told her it wasn’t like that. After you made love to me. Why?” I rambled through the stuff on my dresser to find a blunt I had from the other day. I really don’t smoke that often but my nerves were shot.
“I was just trying to keep the peace. That’s it. At the hospital I told her we wouldn’t be together but I would take care of my kid. I’m not going to be a deadbeat. But I need you to stand by me, Savannah. Please. I know it’s not an easy situation but you told me you’d always be there for me. I need you now.”
He was right. I did tell him I would be there. And over the past year, I’d done just that. But this? This situation was too much.
“Baby, tell me you’re gonna be there for me,” Andre pleaded with sincerity that tugged at my heart strings.
“I don’t know. Let me think about it.”
Sensing my hesitation, Andre asked to come over. That I could answer without pause. “Not a good idea.”
“We need to talk face to face. We need to work this out.”
“But you didn’t want to talk to me when KITA was there. So why now?” I snapped.
“Ok ‘Vannah. I love you and you know that. Have it your way. You want to handle this like a little girl, fine. But just holla at me when you want to be an adult about this.”
Andre hung up without giving me a chance to respond.
Frustrated, I dropped my phone on the bed and took a long hit of my blunt. I blew out the smoke letting the effects of the marijuana work in my body. I dropped my head in frustration. There was nothing I wanted more than for Andre to come over but after today, I was so confused. The way he treated me today, the lies he told, finding out he had a child on the way…it was too much. I didn’t believe his explanations. Andre hasn’t exactly been a pillar of truth in our relationship. What would make this different?
My vibrating phone broke my concentration.
Andre: Come on, Savannah. Let me come over so we can talk. Is this what you’re going to do when we’re married? Run away?
I stared at the message for a few minutes taking in his words. Married? Andre wanted to marry me?
Maybe we did need to talk in person…
Knock! Knock! Knock!
I wanted to rush to the door but I took my time. I needed to hide my excitement. Andre said he wanted to marry me…we just had to deal with this Kita chick.
I waltzed to the door as if the love of my life wasn’t standing on the other side. I opened it but didn’t let Andre in. I stared at him, hoping he could see all the hurt in my eyes.
Instead of words, Andre’s lips crashed into mine. Frantically, his tongue moved with mine as he pushed me until my back hit the wall. Andre dropped to his knees and removed my panties. He looked at me for a split second before he took me to places I couldn’t seem to live without. Once he coaxed my first orgasm out of me, Andre laid me down and made love to me.
We never even made it to the bed; he took me right here on the floor by my front door. I didn’t think anything could feel better than the other day but this…this was everything I needed. I could feel Andre’s apology. I could tell he was sorry. I could tell he loved me.
“You gonna be my wife, right?” Andre whispered in my ear.
“Oh God! Andre! Yes! Yes!” I screamed as Andre solidified his place as my man. I knew then that no other woman meant anything to him. I was the one he wanted to marry.
It only took a few more minutes for Andre to release. He told me he loved me over and over again as I rode the wave of pleasure. There was no denying I was in love.
Andre kissed me deeply and I could feel the thud of his heart beating. I imagined his heart was beating for me. “I mean it, Savannah. Let’s get married. We can go to the courthouse next week and make it happen real quick.”
I wanted to be elated but Andre wasn’t going to cheat me out of a wedding. If I was going to marry him, it was going to be an event. I needed to prove that even if they had him for a minute, I had the ring and the last name. If I was going to be his wife, I needed everyone to see it. Hell, I’d even invite his baby mama for good measure.
“But I want a wedding, baby. Why do we have to go to the courthouse?” I asked. We were still on the floor and I had my head on his chest. His fingers lightly touched my arm; he knew I loved to feel his hands on me after we made love. It made me feel like we were still connected.
Andre kissed me on my forehead. “Baby, why waste that money? We could use that money to buy a house or something. And then we’d have to wait what, a year before we could get married? I don’t want to wait that long.”
My silence must have alarmed him. “I mean if you really want a wedding, we can have one but I want you to be Mrs. Andre Carson as soon as possible.”
“Why the rush all of a sudden? I mean, you haven’t said anything about marriage before,” I acknowledged.
“Why does that even matter? I’m asking you now. And it’s not all of a sudden. We’ve been rocking for a minute…this is just the next step. You know you're my girl.”
“But what about Kita? And your kid? How am I supposed to deal with that, Andre?”
Andre sighed heavily as if all my questions were bothering him. “I already told you I refuse to be a deadbeat. I don’t have to be with Kita to be a good father. There is nothing for you to worry about with Kita. She already knows the deal. I told her I was in love with you.”
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew he was playing games with me. But as I lay quietly listening to the rhythm of his heart beating, it was almost like it was sending a secret message that only my heart could decipher. My heart was ready to be his wife, the woman he came home to, and woke up with. The woman that would have the insurance policies and be listed as an authorized user on his bank accounts. I wanted to be the woman that wore the ring and wore it proudly. Speaking of a ring…
“You haven’t even given me a ring…”
Andre chuckled and replied, “that’s not a big deal, baby. Even if you didn’t have a ring, everyone would know you’re my wife. But come on let’s go look at rings online. That way I can see what you like.”
Happily, I got up and helped Andre up. We got dressed and went in the living room to get comfortable on the sofa. My phone was in my bedroom so Andre pulled out his phone for us to scroll. Looking for rings led into looking at wedding stuff. The more we looked, the more Andre was down with having a wedding. On Pinterest, I created a wedding board and I was so excited to be planning. I couldn’t wait to tell Tiffany. We were pinning away when his phone beeped alerting us that his battery was dying. Right after he dismissed the warning, he got a text and I could have sworn I saw Kita’s name.
Andre tried to act like that notification didn’t just pop up and kept scrolling through Pinterest. For a second, I was too stunned to say anything. Then I snatched his phone out of his hand and ran to my bedroom.
Andre took off after me but I locked the door just before he got to me. “Savannah, stop damn playing! Open the door and give me my phone!” he yelled banging on the door.
I stood near my bed and went to his text messages. I started to scream when I read the message.
Kita: Babe…stop by the store and get some ice cream before you come home. Love ya!
Wait…he just asked me to marry him and she’s asking him to bring ice cream before he comes HOME?
I felt like I was going to throw up. I spied my blunt from earlier. I lit it and scrolled through his messages. The more I read, the more my heart broke. Here I was planning a wedding with the man I loved, the man who asked to marry me and his ass was telling her he missed her, he loved her and he couldn’t wait to be a family with her. He told her she’s made him the happiest man in the world because she was carrying his kid.
How the hell was he going to marry me and be a family with her? What the hell was wrong with Andre? Did he seriously think he could lead two separate lives?
I couldn’t do anything but cry. My tears rolled down my face as I read message after message of how Andre loved her. But it wasn’t just her. Just TODAY, Andre messaged two other women setting up times to come see them.
I was over it. I was done.
I was running myself ragged trying to love him, be there for him and trust him. I was suffering just so I could prove he was my everything. I was sacrificing my sanity so he would know there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. And what did I get in return? My loyalty taken for granted.
Just thinking about how much Andre did to me and everything I allowed, I was no longer hurt. No, Andre had played with me one too many times. My hurt had been transformed into anger. I felt rage.
I flung the door open and before Andre could open his mouth, I threw his phone at his head.
“So you want to play? Ok then, let’s get it.”
Andre looked at me in horror as the first punch connected with his mouth…
I really don’t know what happened. I must have blanked out.
I remember opening the door and that’s it. Everything after that was a blur. But obviously something went down.
How did Andre end up in my bed? I was sitting on the floor, my head pounding. Wait, was that blood on my hands? Where did this come from? I didn’t feel hurt so I didn’t think it was my blood. On shaky legs, I stood up and looked around my bedroom. It was hazy, almost like I was in a fog. My eyes landed on my bed and I couldn’t move.
There was Andre with a knife in his stomach. He wasn’t moving. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened; I just didn’t remember it happening. One minute, I was in my bedroom reading Andre’s text messages. The next minute…he’s dead. I didn’t know what to do.
I felt weak and tired as if my body weighed a thousand pounds. I sat back down and hung my head. I was trying to make sense of what I was feeling but I couldn’t. I should have been in shock. I should have been hurt. I should have been hysterical that the love of my life was dead.
But I didn’t feel any of that.
Instead, I felt relieved. I was relieved that I didn’t have to deal with his lies anymore. I was relieved I didn’t have to compete with other women. I was relieved to finally be free of him.
With his blood dripping from my hands, I recalled the day Andre and I met.
I remember sitting at the bar with Tiffany and seeing this incredibly fine man walk in and sit two seats down from us. The attraction was instant. We sparked up a conversation and it just went from there. Andre tried his best to get me to come home with him, but I refused. I wasn’t that kind of girl. Matter of fact, we didn’t have sex for months. I’d dated too many men who were just after the draws; I needed to try something different with Andre.
If he wasn’t cool with waiting, Andre didn’t show it. He still called, sent me texts, took me out and bought me gifts. It wasn’t until my father passed that I knew Andre deserved all of me, mind, body and soul.
My daddy and I were extremely close and his sudden passing took something out of me. Andre was there through it all. I was an only child so he helped with the funeral arrangements. If it weren’t for Andre, I would have gone crazy.
So how did we end up here? How did I allow him to hurt me so bad? How did I allow him to break me down until I believed his lies? I’d never loved anyone like I loved him…so why wasn’t I hurt that I killed him?
Lost in my thoughts, I faintly heard my name being called. It was initially very soft but began to get louder.
“Savannah, open your eyes. Are you ok?”
Was that Andre’s voice? How? Was I going crazy?
I struggled to open my eyes, but I could only open one of them. I was lying on the ground but I felt funny. There was an incessant pain on the right side of my face. I panicked because I couldn’t really see. I blinked my eyes a few more times and I could make out Andre’s face.
“Come on baby, sit up. Let me help you.”
I was disoriented as I let him help me sit up. I looked at my hands and saw no blood. Andre didn’t have a stab wound in his stomach.
It was all a dream.
Did I really just imagine killing Andre? And not feeling any remorse about it? I hated him so much I conjured up an entire fantasy to get him out of my life for good. I wasn’t about that going to jail life so I wasn’t going to kill him for real but that dream scared me.
I was dizzy but I got up. Andre tried to help me but I swatted his hands away from me. I walked to my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I almost lost it.
My face was bruised and bloody. My right eye was swollen shut and there was a nasty bruise on my cheek. Andre had beat my ass. I remember punching him in the mouth but everything after that is a blur.
“Savannah, baby. I’m sorry.”
I turned to look him. I wasn’t going to believe his apology-I’d heard ‘I’m sorry’ too many damn times. But the tears running down his face softened my heart.
I was standing in my bathroom looking at Andre, trying to find the words I needed to say. Not only had he been emotionally abusive, he now escalated into physical abuse. I was scared.
But he was crying. That had to mean he was sorry, right?
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you,” he said quietly.
“But you did. Over and over,” I sighed.
“I know. But I promise that I’m done with all that. I know I messed up. Just don’t leave me,” he begged.
I wanted to trust him and believe this promise wasn’t like all the others he’d broken. But my swollen eye wouldn’t let me trust him.
“How am I supposed to believe you?”
He looked at me as if he couldn’t believe I wasn’t falling for his bullshit.
“We need to talk about this. We have to-“
“Talk about what? My black eye? Look at my face! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?” I screamed and pointed to my face for extra emphasis.
“Baby, that will never happen again! I swear! Look, I need you in my life. Please don’t go. Please!”
I tried to walk past him but he grabbed me. Andre dropped to his knees and held me close. Over and over he begged me not to leave him. I could feel his tears soaking through my pants.
As my tears ran down my face, I pulled him in closer, causing him to squeeze me tighter. I should have felt comforted but instead, I felt lost.
What was I supposed to do? Andre has never cried for me before. Maybe his tears meant that his promises were real. Or maybe he was just playing me again.
“Please, ‘Vannah. I’m sorry. I love you so much. You’re everything to me. I’ll do anything you want me to do.”
A small part of me wanted to trust him but his words felt flat; they didn’t hold the weight they usually do. “Anything?”
“Yes, anything. Just tell me what you need.”
This was no longer about Kita. This was no longer about his baby. This was no longer about all the other women in his phone. This was about Andre and I. This was about him beating my ass black and blue. The way he had controlled me for so long. Was I in love with him or was I in love with the comfort of having a man? I was never a fan of being single but with Andre, I may as well have been single. Nothing about this was right. I tried to justify his behavior, his lies, his cheating and his bullshit. Just to be able to say I had a man.
Women often say, ‘he’s my headache, but I love him’. Andre was more than a headache. He was like a malignant tumor eating away at my sanity. He tried to control me with sex and gifts. Pretending love was his motive when really he just needed me to be dumb and in love. Because if I was dumb and in love, he could run game. I could catch him cheating and still forgive him. I could find out he had a kid on the way and still try to find a way to be with him. A man like Andre could never understand love.
It was in this moment that I realized that what I needed, he was unable to provide. We’d tried too many times and each time, he failed miserably. I needed someone that I could trust, someone that would love me unconditionally and someone to treat me with respect. Andre didn’t possess the ability to be this man. I tried so hard to make him be someone he’s not; each and every time I ended up disappointed and this time, physically hurt. I was tired. My heart and my soul were tired.
“I’ll tell you what you can do, Andre,” I said while wiping away my tears. “You can let me go and get the hell out of my house.”
They break up…she meets someone else…they get married…have some babies and lives happily ever after!